Anyway I got WAAAY off track. So we are training by driving our shitty little government cars with the killer soundsystems all around DC, VA, and MD. Today I had an Air Force Major, and Navy LT. Both were very badass and cool. Today was the first and probably only day that we were told we could drive wherever we wanted and had no actual missions besides drive with 2 officers in our car. Background info on my 2 officers in the car... Major is a Defense attorney JAG, and likes cross fit, so he is in some crazy good shape. Navy LT, she is phillipino and very good looking. She is a Navigator on an EA-6B Prowler , very badass I might say. She was very suprised that I knew what it was, and then was more impressed that I knew exactly was it was and all that jazz....yea im a nerd, leave me alone. So I drive them around talking BS about great places to eat in the area, what we do for fun, and other odds and ends. We finish early because Major wants to watch the National Championship game on TV. I drop them off at 1930 at our office building. It was an hour and a half earlier than planned so I call a fellow driver up to see where he is at. Old man (he is only 45) says he is at a bar next to the Dubliner called Kellys Irish Pub. He said he is there with about 10 officers and I should join. So I drive my government vehicle to the bar, park, and head on in.
When I first walk in, I am approached by an odd looking kid in a wheel-chair. He looks at me and says "HEY SPECIALIST! (I am in my class B uniform) ARE YOU HERE WITH THOSE NAVY FUCKS?" I answered that I was here to meet with them. "WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH THEM, FUCKING TRAITOR SCUM!!!" I just walk by his wheelie ass and move on. I get to the table where there is Old Man, CPT AF, 4 LT Navys, 1 LTC Navy, and CPT USMC. All but Old man are about 4 pints of Guinness down wind. I am introduced, ingnored, and sit down. I talk to Old Man, and he tells me how the other drivers of the officers left because they probably felt uncomfortable with the situation, but he decided to stay cause it seemed like a fun place. AF CPT talks to me a few times and I really dont know what she is talking about really....something about someone who is getting fired cause he is a shitty driver and something blah blah. They all order another round and ask for the check. It then takes them about 30 minutes to figure out the bill for each other, and they also decide to pay for our meals. AF CPT leans over to me and smiles saying "JEEEEEEZ How many officers does it take to pay a bill eh? HAHAHAHAHA" I kind of laughed at her for it not with her, cause seriously, if it was that hard to pay the bill of $130 the LTC Navy should of just paid. I decide to use the bathroom, and walk into this closet of a bathroom where the LTC Navy has mysteriously warped into faster than I could walk, he is already ther pissing, though I swear to this moment he was still sitting at the table drinking. He looks at me and says " Isnt this the most HOMO bathroom?" I laugh and agree even though I dont know what he meant.
Back at the table, AF CPT says out loud "Wow, we really smell like beer, we cant go back to work...." So it is a unanimous order for myself and Old Man to drive each officer to the house in which they each live, where ever that may be in DC. I take 3 Navy LTs with me in my car. I sit on the side of the road as they argue about who lives where, and how fast it will take, and what songs are blasting on my radio. This is the part that reminds me of a Baby Sitter. I look to the LT next to me and say, "LT whats your address? Your going home first." He tells me the place he lives, I put it in the GPS and off we go.
I get to the first LT's house and he says thanks and gets out. Another LT in the back seat asks me to make an illegal U-Turn, so I do. He tells me to pull over, directly across from where I dropped the first LT off. I do as ordered. He jumps out, says good-night, and then proceeds to run across the street and into the dark. (Im serious, I had no idea what the fuck he was doing). The third LT asks if he can sit up front, I tell him yes he can, and then he continues to not move and just stares at me. I say it again, and he motions to the front seat, and I say yes again. He finally moves up. He asks me to go to the next light 100yds away and take a left. I do so and as soon as I make the left, he says to pull over and he gets out..... seriously, he couldnt of gotten out and ran like the second Navy LT? I then drove back to home base through alot of traffic even though it was almost 10PM. I turned in my white iron steed, and left my wallet inside, not even realizing it. Got back to my office in Downtown DC and realized it then. Couldnt get into my office, and called back to home base, and everyone had already left....awesome. So I left for the day, not knowing how I can get onto base tomorrow, or even get into work, since each requires a tottally seperate ID card.
Fuck Bees.... time to sleep, I get to wear ACUs Tomorrow, I have never been so excited in my life to wear them.... Im so sick of dressing up nice for work in B's or A's.
"Sex On Fire" by Kings of Leon
FOLLOW UP
The crazy kid in the wheel chair ended up being a very intoxicated OIF "wounded warrior" He was missing his left leg, his teeth were all chipped and messed up, and the back of his skull was all scared from surgery and staples.... definate PTSD im sure. He also had a "wounded warrior" back pack. I felt sorry for him that he was like that, I know he probably has been through alot, and it reminded me of "Born on the 4th of July". Im sure he went through alot, maybe almost died, has been in alot of pain, maybe even lost a few close friends during whatever happened to him. All night I have been online looking at OIF/OEF support groups. Not the "I am a veteran and I have a problem", but actual political groups out there fighting for the soldiers on Capital Hill. More to come in a later post. And if you havent seen "Born on the 4th of July", I suggest you watch it, and if you feel bad when you watch it, imagine Tom Cruise having short blond hair in that movie, and that was the kid I met tonight.
